How to win things despite sucking

I wasn’t really expecting to finish the San Rafael Twilight Crit, as it’s generally full of pros and such. I signed up with several days before the race and as the date drew closer, I questioned why I’d done it, and why I hadn’t just opted to race in Lodi instead: 8 corners (yay!) with 3/4s or 1/2/3s (but likely, fewer pros). My nervous energy spilled out on my Gmail status message:

taking bets now: how many laps in this race do you think i'll be able to hang on? http://www.pitchengine.com/free-release.php?id=74844Max bet a garlic artichoke bread that I would do all of them. Jeff bet ice cream on me hanging on for 72 laps. With 1k laps and an hour of racing, that would render an average speed of 44.7 mph. Nice! (Jeff is not a racer.) Beckett spaced out and asked how many Skittles there are in a princess cake, which would only halfway make sense if you’re Lucas Pereira and you measure your sprint in Skittles.

My preparations for the race were minute: I put a $20 bill in my jersey pocket so that I’d be able to go straight to beer once I was pulled.

I’ve never had this many teammates in a race before! It was Jane, Molly, Ryan, Rae, Yukie, Bri, and me. With six actual competent bike racers and one with beer money in her pocket, things were looking pretty good.

The course was way more fun than I had expected. Four corner crits are generally pretty lame, but a tiny bit of a hill thrown in there for good measure was appreciated, as was the fast corner on the downhill — both of them excellent places for moving up. Ha! I said moving up! This implies I wasn’t dangling off the back; I wasn’t sucking nearly as much as I had expected, so clearly this had to be fixed. A breakaway was up the road, devoid of Minties, so about halfway through the race I launched an attack which was somewhat limited in duration but as I got caught Rae counterattacked and from what I hear the breakaway was caught after this (minus Kat Carroll, who soloed for the win! Awesome!). I didn’t see it; I slowly drifted off the back (suckiness achieved!) but I got loads of cheers from friends around the course and I knew they were all drinking so being pulled was pretty good.

Aside from Kat’s awesome monster solo ride, there were no more breaks (except for the inverted kind), and Jane got 5th! We had planned to drink beer and heckle the men in the P/1/2 race in Bri’s honor, as she is soon leaving us to go to grad school in Virginia (nooo!), but eating burgers (with beer) seemed so much more compelling. I think the men could deal; I hear that some dude or other won despite the lack of heckling from the Minty women.

And of course, the win on my part:

"ok, you really do suck"

Score!

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1 Response to How to win things despite sucking

  1. Joshua T says:

    You rocked out there! Nice job!

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